“Get O-f-f-f My Land!”

June 16, 2024  

By Charlie Hutton

June 16, 2024

Last week I officially turned into that guy… 

That man who shakes his fist and shouts, “Get o-f-f-f my land!” 

Yet, this cranky old-man phrase was shouted at an unusual enemy… 

Not to a bunch of lost ramblers.

Not to teenagers looking for trouble.

Not to dozy dog walkers and their pampered pooches.  


This phrase was shouted at a mole. 

And turns out, the mole didn’t listen. 

See, being a townie, I was not prepared for the influx of wildlife when moving to the countryside. 

There are endless owls, mice, pheasants and other creatures who frequent our garden. 

And then there is my new arch nemesis… 

The mole. 

The industrious little basturd is determined to destroy my lawn. 

He doesn’t care about me shouting. 

He doesn’t care about the endless ‘natural’ deterrents your animal-loving wife tries. 

He doesn’t care about my sonic-sound-thingy that was supposed to scare him away. 

At the end of my tether, there was only one thing for it…

The Mole Man. 

(Yep, this is how the locals refer to him, with no first name or surname.) 

I dropped the elusive Mole Man a text, detailing my losing battle. 

His cryptic response? 

“Challenge accepted.” 

At the crack of dawn the next day, Mole Man appeared. 

Tall, rangy and murderous. 

Money exchanged hands.

He wandered the land and laid his traps. 

A brief nod and he was gone. 

To start with, I thought I’d been done. Until… 


A trap fired whilst sitting down for breakfast around less than an hour later. 

Mole Man: 1 

Mole: 0

One hour versus all that time and energy I had wasted. 

And this was a great reminder in this game. 

See, in this game, it is very easy to waste time and energy faffing around and trying to work things out alone. 

And maybe (unlike me) after lots of trial and error, you’ll get lucky. 

Yet, if you value your time you’d be wise to consider cutting to the chase straight away. 

Go directly to whatever, or whoever will fix your problem. 

In the end, your sanity and back pocket will thank you for it. 

It’s time to see the Mole Man. 

Until next time. 

Make More. Provide More. Be More.

Charlie Hutton


Founder Of The One Man Empire Movement.

Make More. Provide More. Be More.

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