This is late.
Because Emma (my wife) and I have been together 20 years.
…And I forgot.
Luckily, my wife has a terrible memory, and this means I get away with a lot of shxt.
This included.
Anyway, I’ve been pretty open about challenges in the past, so I’ll not offer advice on having a good marriage.
We got there via a series of fcuk ups and forgiveness.
But, in this spirit of a happy relationship, I c-a-n offer some suggestions on what is guaranteed to annoy your wife.
First up…
Your wife will be annoyed if you forget your ‘one job.’
She will be especially annoyed if this ‘one job’ was sorting the visas and you end up stranded at Heathrow.
(Sorry Em, circa July 2023.)
Your wife will be annoyed if you ignore her.
This will be especially bad when you ignore her advice about not bouncing on the same trampoline as your toddler because he will fall off.
You ignore her. Your toddler promptly falls off. Breaks his leg. And ends up in a full cast. For six weeks.
(Sorry Em, circa 2016.)
Your wife will be annoyed if you get drunk in Vegas and wash both your passports.
The annoyance will grow when you tell her this means taking a long drive to L.A. and sitting in a dingy passport office for a day while hungover as hell.
(Sorry Em, circa 2006.)
Your wife will be annoyed if you crash her car.
She will be especially annoyed if you do this when she is 9 months pregnant and overdue.
(Sorry Em, circa July 2013.)
Your wife will be annoyed if you promise her a move to a ‘done’ house and then you go and offer on a wonky old barn that needs a boatload of work.
(Sorry Em, circa March 2024.)
And most importantly…
Your wife will be annoyed if you eat the last chocolate bar.
(Sorry Em, circa every other week from 2005.)
To another 20 years.
Until next time.
Make More. Provide More. Be More.
Charlie Hutton
